This week underscores a familiar message: age doesn’t adhere to traditional expectations. The spotlight is on Mary Jane Farquharson, a 64-year-old captured dancing at a 50 Cent concert in Birmingham. The rapper shared the video, calling her “the coolest person at my show tonight,” amassing thousands of views.
1. Fit Midlifer
The term emerged as an alternative to the less appealing “middle-aged.” Fit Midlifers, ranging from 45 to about 80, believe in maintaining fitness, whether it’s genuine or a product of self-delusion. It’s a category that includes those who might question Paul McCartney’s aging appearance at 81, deeming themselves Fit Midlifers.
2. Typical Boomer
Falling between 57 and 75, Typical Boomers may not be particularly fit. They might not look much different from their parents at the same age but resist acknowledging the signs of aging. Issues like struggling to clear a gate, changing morning routines, dietary adjustments, and bird-watching tendencies hint at advancing years. However, Boomers perceive themselves as defying aging norms because they own trainers, eat couscous, know about Topboy, and occasionally attend concerts.
3. Trad Oldster
The Trad Oldster embraces aging gracefully, with no interest in striving for a ripped physique or dyeing their hair. They find contentment on the sofa with a whippet and Antiques Roadshow, fully embracing retirement rather than chasing adrenaline.
4. Reckless Oldster
Similar to the Trad Oldster but with a penchant for indulgence. They spend lavishly on gadgets and imprudent projects, maintain irregular hours, and proudly neglect their health.
5. Cool Old Granny/Grandpa
Describing someone as a Cool Old Granny or Grandpa might not sit well with them, but to those under 35, individuals like Goldie Hawn or Mick Jagger fall into this category. It’s a perspective shift similar to how younger generations viewed Joan Rivers—less as someone defying aging and more as an older person with a tight face.
6. Ongoing MLC (Midlife Crisis)
The midlife crisis that typically hits in one’s forties persists well into one’s seventies. Examples include men having babies in their eighties and women appearing as if they’re storing nuts in their cheeks.
7. Properly Old
As of 2023, being “Properly Old” kicks in at Major Tom’s age—90, for those fitting into any of the above categories.