“This is a big one, so I don’t want to waste any time,” Baldwin, in full faux tan and blond wig regalia, said to open the show. He then claimed to be over six feet tall and “shredded,” adding that he looked forward to the visiting Hanoi with Chairman Kim who “is a very cool, misunderstood guy.”
“There’s a tremendous amount of drugs flowing into this country — from the southern border, or the ‘brown line’ as many people have asked me not to call it,” he said. “Wall works. Wall make safe. You don’t have to be smart to understand that, and in fact it’s even easier to understand if you’re not that smart.”
Elsewhere in the speech, Baldwin’s Trump confessed that he had to “fake” the national emergency and said he’d mulled over enacting the death penalty for non-violent crimes. He then said that he knew signing the declaration would lead to “immediately [being] sued.”
“The ruling will not go in my favor and then I’ll end up in the Supreme Court,” he said, “and then I’ll call my buddy Kavanaugh, and I’ll say it’s time to repay the Donny, and he’ll say, ‘New phone, who dis?’”
Baldwin’s Trump then fielded questions from other “SNL” castmembers posing as reporters (and offered a wall around CNN).
He then noted that he knew the Robert Mueller investigation report would be released and begin “crumbling my house of cards.” He promised to “plead insanity” so that his “personal hell of playing president will finally be over.”
The real Trump wasn’t impressed.
“Nothing funny about tired Saturday Night Live on Fake News NBC! Question is, how do the Networks get away with these total Republican hit jobs without retribution? Likewise for many other shows? Very unfair and should be looked into,” he tweeted Sunday morning. “This is the real Collusion!”
He added, “THE RIGGED AND CORRUPT MEDIA IS THE ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE!”